I've tried many chamois creams over the years. Some are certainly better than others, but for the most part, I divide them into three categories:
1) the cheap ones that are filled with chemicals that will probably give you ass cancer (I don't mean this to be slanderous, I just mean that they contain chemicals like polyparaben)
-Paceline Chamois Butt'r
-Udderly Smooth
2) the super expensive ones that make you question whether your ass is really worth it
-DZnuts
-Assos
-Rapha
-Mad Alchemy
3) the all natural yet somewhat affordable ones
-Sportique Century Riding Cream
-Doc's Natural
-Betwixt
-Enzo's Buttonhole
-Beljum Budder
I started out with a tube of Chamois Butt'r. I used maybe half of it and threw it out. Once I read about all those chemicals it just wasn't worth it. Plus, it smelled terrible, the consistency was like school paste, and it didn't work great either. I haven't tried Udderly Smooth, but I'm not going to.
I can't say I've tried any in category two. DZnuts is great I'm sure but I've stayed away from it for two reasons. It's too damn expensive and I don't really need to feel any cool tingle down there. I'm not sure why that's desirable, but I should add that I am partial to DZnuts' Bald shaving cream. That's worth the money. It's worth pointing out that their products are free of all those bad chemicals.
Assos I've heard is amazing; you can read articles all across the internet about that. But again, stupidly expensive and I've heard the quality has gone down... plus it might be in the ass cancer category despite it's price. Same for Rapha.
Mad Alchemy is a great company. Their embrocation is the best, but embrocation lasts a lot longer than chamois cream. I wouldn't be able to afford to ride if I used their chamois cream.
That brings us to my preferred category of chamois creams, the natural yet affordable. I've used all these creams except the Doc's Natural (which I will try sometime just out of curiosity).
Enzo's is okay, a little tingly, smells like mint which makes you want to eat it (probably don't do that). They have reformulated it recently and made it a little more concentrated which is probably better. It had a nice high viscosity but wore off rather quickly.
Betwixt is pretty nice. I used it ages ago when I could get it from my LBS, but I just came across it again last week when my girlfriend got a tub of it. It's good, I rode 117 miles on it, but it definitely didn't hang in there for more than 60 of it. It's be good for shorter rides but I was not impressed with how loose the consistency was.
Beljum Budder is very similar to Betwixt. A little thicker but still more french cream than ricotta, if you know what I mean (if you are a cyclist and pretend not to know about pastries you are a liar!). They are restructuring ownership so it might be a while until they're back on the market. It's no great loss if you ask me.
AND THE WINNER IS.... Sportique Century Riding Cream.
Duh, that's why I'm writing this. Maybe this isn't so much a product review as it is a raving endorsement. I've tried too many of these products and this is the only one that truly does what I need it to do. When you find something that works, stick with it.
Sportique CRC is the perfect consistency. It's a very high viscosity, especially when it's colder, but when spread evenly and rubbed it into the chamois, it really lasts all day, regardless of the weather. I've ridden a lot of centuries on this stuff. It works.
CRC is made in the Czech Republic with botanicals and natural ingredients, is paraben free, petroleum free, mineral oil free, etc so it won't give you the aforementioned ass cancer or break down your expensive cycling clothes. Despite all those botanicals and natural ingredients, menthol or other such tingle-educing ingredients are also absent, which is a plus for me. I think it's even vegan!
The one drawback for some might be it's strong botanical scent. I don't mind it at all, but I could see how it could bother some. I generally don't go about smelling my own ass so it's not an issue for me, but I can't say the same for people sucking my wheel! Ha! Besides that, just keep in mind, like any cream, or sweat for that matter, it can and will leach through your chamois, so be mindful of where you sit post-ride. Though, sitting on your bare car seats, your couch, bed, etc after a ride in your cycling clothes is pretty gross regardless, so...
Sportique CRC is part of a huge line of awesome products, all of which are completely natural. They make some nice massage oils, their Elements Cream is great during the winter, their Moisturizing Body Balm is a great indulgence, and their Shea Butter Hand Cream keeps up with the cold dry winter with ease. I also love that they make a Hard Day's Night Foot Cream (Beatles) and a Mother's Little Helper lotion (Stones). That's my kind of company.
While somewhat hard to find online on the big sellers (not on Amazon yet) they're really easy to deal with directly. The US distributor is based in NYC so shipments are fast on the east coast. While shipping isn't free, they give you a 10% discount code which usually offsets most of the shipping cost. Plus, they often send along a liberal sampling of trial sizes and sometimes even a whole complimentary tube of another product to try out.
As a final note, of course remember this this is in no way an exhaustive list of chamois creams. There are other offerings such as Friction Freedom or the Chomper Body products, which I've only just heard of. Both are all natural and look interesting. The Chomper Body products are water free and emu oil based so they go far and last, but their animal base may make them undesirable to some. Also, both are a bit on the prohibitively expensive side as well.
Overall I've found the Sportique Century Riding Cream to be the perfect balance of natural ingredients, long wear quality, price per ounce and availability. For me, that makes it the perfect chamois cream.
